Origins & Formation Tell us the Dastardly Kids origin story. How did this project come together? -DK started 2008 in Ypsilanti, MI. Pat & Sonny met in HS gym class bonding over art and hip hop. The ghetto tech wave comes from the childhood love we each had for the music, hearing elder cousins and uncles bumping DJ Godfather and Assault . The new project is our take on the genre. Santana joined us a few years ago and fits right in with the eclectic vibes. When did each of

In the interest of public education, Safe as Fuck has assembled a brief guide to several important dance music genres that shaped the modern festival landscape, primarily by proving that just because something is loud doesn’t mean it’s good. Below are a few of the highlights. Moombahton Moombahton arrived in the early 2010s with the promise of merging reggaeton rhythms with Dutch house energy. The result was a genre that sounded like a laptop trying to play two unsynced YouTu

LOS ANGELES — After conducting what they described as a “thorough, boots-on-the-ground journalistic investigation,” reporters from Channel 5 announced this week that actor Shia LaBeouf is, beyond any reasonable doubt, a fucking moron. The conclusion follows a now widely circulated interview in which the former child star appeared to wander through the conversation like a drunk guy who just discovered philosophy for the first time at 3:40 a.m. in the smoking area of a dive bar

This is satire KELOWNA, BC — In a move experts say “could not have gone any other way,” reality television producers have confirmed that Canada Shore was filmed in Kelowna, while Love on the Spectrum continues circling Vancouver after determining the city was no longer safe for unsupervised fun. According to producers, Kelowna was selected after a routine scouting trip revealed “sunlight, momentum, and citizens who still experience emotions without immediately filing paperwor

This is Satire (mostly) VANCOUVER — In a bold move experts are calling “deeply familiar,” several North American music festivals have successfully completed their transformation from scrappy cultural gatherings into full-fledged Garbage Universities , adopting the same bloated administrative structures, opaque back doors, and unpaid labor pipelines traditionally reserved for higher education. Much like universities, modern festivals now insist they are “community-first” while

This is satire In an effort to bring clarity, structure, and much-needed order to a historically chaotic culture, a DJ who has never released music has officially set firm guidelines on who is allowed to speak about rave history. The announcement came after several “pesky kids” and veterans alike dared to comment online without first checking whether their lived experience aligned with the DJ’s personal framework for acceptable discourse. “Rave History is important”, the DJ

Jim Johnston was never meant to be visible. For more than three decades, he worked behind the scenes of one of the loudest entertainment machines on the planet, composing music heard by millions while remaining largely anonymous outside wrestling’s inner orbit. From 1985 to 2017, Johnston served as WWE’s in-house composer, producing thousands of pieces of music that would come to define not just performers, but eras. He didn’t arrive through the wrestling world. Johnston’s ea

This is satire It was supposed to be a perfect weekend. The festival was “sold out” (capacity adjusted). The lineup was “curated” (agents answered emails). The crowd was “community” (everyone wore the same sunglasses). Then someone died. Not metaphorically. Not spiritually. Actually died. On festival grounds. Somewhere between the VIP compost toilets and a branded hydration station. At first, no one knew what to do—which is impressive, considering everyone there claims to be

Origins Tell us about the name Girl Blunt. We fucking love it — and we love blunts. What’s the story? I’ve been active in music on and off for the past decade under a different moniker. When I first started djing I was using that name and realized it didn’t fit anymore. I happened to bring it up one day when I was hanging out with my friend Patrick, they immediately just blurted out Girl Blunt, I think it was the first name they said and it just clicked. The name, of course b

(or: Why Every Rave Now Comes With Kombucha and a Mission Statement) Vancouver’s underground didn’t collapse because of lack of talent — it collapsed because it got institutionalized from both sides : the wellness-industrial complex -on the grassroots end, and the cultural grant bureaucracy on the top-down end. Somewhere between the crystal-healing DJ and the arts-funding application template, the city’s nightlife was quietly sanitized into something safe and polite. The pie

1. Vancouver’s Underground Is Forced to Orbit Bad Institutions In Montreal, underground talent grows in basements, co-ops, lofts, illegal warehouses — places that aren’t supposed to exist but do anyway. Entire micro-scenes form inside buildings held together by bad drywall and community spirit. Montreal rewards chaos. In Toronto, talent grows through density and pressure. A massive, diverse population forces cross-pollination: hip-hop nights bleed into drum & bass; techno kid

If you’ve been around the Vancouver underground, you’ve probably seen the name Subdidi floating across lineups, mixes, and much more. He’s a DJ, producer, and tattoo artist with a distinct sense of taste — the kind that connects dots most people don’t even see. From throwing down raw phonk mixes to inking clean, timeless pieces, he’s built a creative world that’s entirely his own. We sat down with Subdidi to talk Basscoast, tattooing, phonk, and what it’s like riding through

Safe as Fuck Interview: Beatmool I. Origins Let’s start with the name — “Beatmool.” It’s distinct. Kinda mysterious. What’s the story behind it? Where did it come from? The word first came to me while I was travelling in Croatia. I visited this beautiful rural area and was inspired to produce a track with an English translated name of the location “Greenfall.” My love of liquid drum & bass at the time helped me envision a new project dedicated to that atmospheric, liquid good

Every year, the city produces talent that should be global. Instead, most of it leaves. Not for weather or lifestyle, but because Vancouver structurally fails its own artists. Ambition is punished, creativity is mined for cheap labour, and culture is exported before it ever gets a chance to breathe. This isn’t a lament. It’s a map. From corporate creep to festival marketing absurdity, from the curator class of privileged amateurs to a talent pipeline that literally bleeds int

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