DJ (Who Makes No Music) Sets Firm Guidelines on Who Is Allowed to Speak About Rave History

In an effort to bring clarity, structure, and much-needed order to a historically chaotic culture, a DJ who has never released music has officially set firm guidelines on who is allowed to speak about rave history.

The announcement came after several “pesky kids” and veterans alike dared to comment online without first checking whether their lived experience aligned with the DJ’s personal framework for acceptable discourse.

“Rave History is important”, the DJ explained, “ Which is why it is critical that only the right people talk about it… not everyone, just certain people.”

When pressed on how those people would be identified, the DJ cited a combination of tone, vocabulary, and whether the speaker seemed “aware of the bigger picture.”

The guidelines clarify that firsthand experience is indeed valuable, but only when it supports conclusions already reached. Anyone who attended illegal parties, built sound systems, ran pirate radio, or promoted events before social media is encouraged to share their stories—provided they do so respectfully and without challenging newer interpretations.

“ Lived experience can be helpful,” the DJ added, “but it shouldn’t override research,”

defining research as documentaries, archived flyers reposted on Instagram, and a few very influential comment threads.

Veterans of the scene responded by quietly remembering nights spent evading police, blowing speakers, losing money, and accidentally inventing subgenres—details now considered “contextual” rather than central.

The DJ reassured critics that this was not about gatekeeping, but about protecting the culture, noting that rave history has evolved and that:

“The underground has always been about inclusion,”

especially when filtered through modern platforms and post-event analysis.

At press time, the DJ was reportedly finalizing an addendum to the guidelines addressing who is allowed to feel nostalgic, who is allowed to be critical, and how old one must be before memory becomes unreliable.

The document concludes by reminding readers that rave culture was never about rules—except, of course, these ones.