Critics Praise New Netflix Series for ‘Not Getting in the Way of Instagram’

LOS GATOS, CA — Netflix’s newest original series, Coastal Tension, is earning rave reviews this week from critics and viewers alike — not for its story, acting, or production value, but for its “unparalleled ability to exist in the background while users fully engage with Instagram, TikTok, and the crushing void of modern life.”

“It’s refreshing to finally have a show that respects my attention span by not asking for it,” said Variety critic Jenna Marsh, who watched all eight episodes while organizing her camera roll.

Touted by Netflix as “emotionally beige but visually consistent,” the slow-burning thriller follows a cast of generically attractive people with indistinguishable names as they uncover a mysterious family secret, or maybe it was a missing boat — nobody is quite sure.

“I looked up once and someone was crying in the rain, which felt meaningful,” said one viewer. “But I was also DM’ing my ex, so I appreciated that the plot didn’t punish me for that.”

Designed specifically for “scroll-compatibility,” Coastal Tension features muted performances, color palettes optimized for peripheral vision, and long stretches of instrumental music ideal for checking your likes without losing narrative context — because there isn’t any.

The show also breaks ground with Netflix’s new Soft Focus™ technology, which gently blurs any onscreen action not immediately relevant to scrolling users. Test audiences reported feeling “pleasantly uninvolved.”

“It’s perfect,” said influencer and early-access reviewer @plantbasedhater. “I had it on for hours while making a Reel about my skincare routine and didn’t miss a thing. Actually, I don’t remember anything.”

According to insider reports, Netflix plans to follow up with Coastal Tension: Season 2 — already described as “visually identical and equally non-confrontational” — alongside other passive-friendly projects like Mild Crimes in Small Towns, Emotional Vaguery, and a new eight-part docuseries called Why People You Don’t Know Are Murdered.

Netflix executives were not available for comment, as they were all currently watching Coastal Tension in three different browser tabs while doomscrolling on Threads.

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