VANCOUVER — In a desperate bid to make his record label sound less like a doomed passion project and more like a viable business, local DJ and label head Liam Carter has begun exclusively referring to his one-man operation as a "high-growth sonic enterprise with scalable cultural impact."
Sources close to Carter confirm that while he still burns through personal savings to press vinyl and barter with graphic designers for cover art, he now speaks exclusively in corporate jargon to avoid the dreaded judgment of his peers—many of whom would rather see him in a LinkedIn-approved "respectable" job than chasing his artistic ambitions.
"I used to just say I ran a label," Carter explained. "And immediately, people would assume I was broke and directionless. But now? Now I tell them I'm the CEO of an emerging disruptor in the audio distribution space, and suddenly they wanna grab coffee and hear about my 'business model.’"
Carter’s pivot to overtly corporate language has been met with a mix of confusion, intrigue, and begrudging respect from his social circle. Once-dismissive acquaintances have even begun casually dropping terms like "market positioning" and "long-term monetization strategy" when discussing his latest underground bass compilation.
"I mean, yeah, it's still just Liam in his basement emailing Bandcamp links," said longtime friend Jake Reynolds, "but now that he calls his artists 'strategic partners' and his unreleased tracks 'intellectual property assets,' it’s kind of impressive. I even Venmo’d him $20 for 'early-stage investment opportunities.'”
Despite Carter’s rebranding success, some in the industry remain skeptical. Local talent buyer Megan Schultz expressed frustration with his new approach, claiming, "If he sends me one more email about 'optimizing our collaborative synergies' when he just wants an opening slot, I swear to god."
Regardless, Carter remains committed to his new executive leadership persona, even going so far as to draft a corporate mission statement for his label:
"At Strategic Sonic Ventures LLC, we leverage innovative distribution frameworks and grassroots engagement strategies to drive sustained market expansion and cultivate a competitive edge in the independent electronic music sector."
Translation: He still throws warehouse parties and sells cassettes out of his trunk.
For now, the strategy appears to be working. Liam's parents, once deeply concerned about his career choices, are now proudly telling extended family that he 'runs a company.'"
"It's amazing," Carter admits. "The second I started using words like 'growth trajectory' and 'Q3 goals,' people stopped asking me if I was going to get a real job."
As for the actual financial sustainability of his label, sources report that Carter is still one bad pressing plant invoice away from total financial ruin—but at least now, he can call it an "unexpected market correction."
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