Vancouver, BC — The morning after a heinous night out requires strategy. You’re fragile, your stomach is an active crime scene, and the only thing standing between you and absolute disgrace is the right soundtrack.
Gone are the days when UKG was just champagne bubbles and two-step flexing—modern garage and techno have evolved into a sonic shield for your most shameful moments. Whether you’re at home sharing walls with judgmental flatmates or in a public restroom that’s far too quiet, these recent tracks will make sure no one hears a thing.
ATW ( Interplanetary Criminal & Main Phase ) – 100%
A relentless 4x4 UKG stomper that bangs hard enough to mask anything. The heavy bass and rapid-fire percussion ensure that even the worst bowel-based betrayals remain undetectable.
Best Used When: Your stomach has entered panic mode, and you need the sonic equivalent of a noise complaint to drown it out.
2. Bakey – "Bring It Back"
Bakey’s signature warped basslines and militant percussion are ideal for covering up catastrophic splashback. This track is like a smoke bomb in audio form—press play and disappear into the mist.
Pro Tip: If someone knocks, just shout "ONE SEC" in time with the beat and they’ll assume you're just vibing too hard to respond.
3. X CLUB. – "Say No More"
A modern techno weapon that builds like a stomach cramp before a big drop. The pounding kicks and overdriven synths will shake the walls enough to make your personal warzone untraceable.
Best Used When: You need something so aggressive that even if people hear something, they’ll assume it’s just part of the track.
DJ Zinc – "138 Trek"
A percussive masterpiece with enough snares to sound like a construction site, "138 Trek" will drown out just about anything. The relentless hi-hats? Perfect for camouflaging splash damage. The pulsating bass? Ideal for covering those regrettable late-night kebab decisions.
Best Used When: You need a track so busy that even the most attentive listener won’t notice the real jungle breaks happening in your toilet.
5. Kwengface x Joy Orbison x Overmono – "Freedom 2"
A genre-fusing monster that slams together UK drill energy, UKG grooves, and Overmono’s signature club aesthetics. The wobbly bass and syncopated drum programming make this an audio forcefield—if anyone hears noises from the stall, they’ll just assume it’s part of the track.
Best Used When: You need to fully commit to the chaos and let the music do the lying for you.
Modern garage and techno were built for this moment. With enough bass weight, precision-engineered distortion, and aggressive percussion, no one will ever know what just happened. Play loud. Survive. Deny everything.
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